How to forgive someone who hurt you: five tips

Forgiveness can be difficult, especially when someone you love and care about hurts you. There are many benefits to forgiveness that support your physical and mental well-being. When you forgive, it promotes a happier and healthier state in life. Here is how to forgive someone who hurt you. 

1. Decide You Want to Forgive

One of the more challenging parts of forgiving is getting to the point where you are ready to forgive. You may want to hold on to a grudge that you have forever and continue to feel the way you do towards someone. Emotional forgiveness can be harder since memories can trigger how you feel during a situation. 

Sometimes forgiveness can come on its own through time. You may realize that one day you are not angry or hurt about a situation anymore. Although this day will come, a proactive approach is to decide it is time to forgive. You will be on the road to recovery quicker by choosing to forgive. 

2. Take Your Time

You may expect it to happen instantly when you finally decide to forgive. Just because you decide to forgive doesn’t mean your emotions will disappear immediately after. Choosing to forgive is only the first step. You should lower your expectations for feeling like everything is entirely back to normal. 

This applies to the forgiveness process and the decision to forgive. If you just recently had an argument, you want to take your time with the process. It may take time to sort your thoughts and feelings, but forgiveness will come at the right moment. 

3. Forgive for You 

Forgiveness should not be done for the person that hurt you but something you do for yourself. The emotional damage can cause stress and anxiety to you over time. Letting go of an issue can help you feel better, along with forgiving a person that deserves it. 

You don’t want to apologize and forgive when you aren’t ready since it may not feel like you actually meant it. When you forgive too quickly, the insincerity can hurt worse than the original damage done. Real heartfelt forgiveness allows the emotions to be released instead of pent-up anger from a forced apology. 

4. Empathize With Who Hurt You

When someone hurts you, you immediately think negatively about them. You may ask yourself how they could do something like that or if they even care about your feelings. 

You can put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see where their actions came from. This does not mean you justify their behavior, but it is a tool to get on the road to forgiving. This practice can protect your feelings from getting hurt, depending on the situation. 

5. Talk Out Your Feelings

Once the time is right, talking or writing out your feelings can help. You can talk to friends or loved ones about the situation to see if they have any insight or just need someone to listen. Your feelings are connected to your behavior so holding onto what hurt can have you acting in undesirable ways. 

Sitting down with a pen and paper can be therapeutic if you choose to write your feelings. You can freely express your thoughts and feelings without saying them to another person. Whatever you write is strictly for you and you can do with the note whatever you want.  

Forgiveness is Key to Healing

When learning how to forgive someone who hurt you, you are being kind to yourself. It is a way to eliminate stressors since holding on is not healthy for you mentally and emotionally. You may need to work on forgiving, but with time you will learn to on to better things.